the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
