it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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