A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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