i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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