I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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