billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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