I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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