You smell like stripper and shame
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize