shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
