yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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