i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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