Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
