pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
