NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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