I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
