She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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