Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
