this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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