in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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