Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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