she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
