stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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