Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
its liver damage thursday
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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