Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize