We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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