let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
