living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
