The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I want to fling myself into the sun
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
