Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
