Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
