Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
