Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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