that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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