your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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