Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
