Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
