I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
