whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
