hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
