Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just pynch a tree in the face
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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