Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
