Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
