Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
