you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize