I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
