If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
