Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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