Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
