I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
