You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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