I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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