I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
