I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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