It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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