I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she told me i tasted like america
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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