i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
