I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
