is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
