we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
