ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
