were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Liz is crying about burritos again.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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