I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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