Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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